Wow….Nothing since July. I have truly become a person without much to say. No one who knew me growing up would have ever thought that. But I guess the point is that I am afraid that I have become too unhip or too stupid to say anything anyone would want to read. Then I think about my life and realize I need to say something. If nothing else, my views could be read as a cautionary tale for young women. I guess a little update would be in order for those of you who are interested……I’m still in Durham. I’m even more financially strapped than ever. I did get promoted to management with the bookstore, but have had to step down. My daughter’s father left town suddenly in October. He had lost another job and ran home to Cincinnati. He wasn’t contributing financially to our daughter’s upkeep, but he was watching her at night and on weekends when I was working. When he left, that fell apart and I had to step down. So now I’m back to part-time bookselling and looking for work in an environment with 7%-8% unemployment. With no degree…..I’m trying, with help from my church and my parents, to hang on until Fall 2003, when I hope to be going back to finish school. I realize I’ve said this before, but I’ll really be there this time. Wish me luck….. As to the other things in my life….I’ve found comfort and renewal in returning to organized religion. Those of you who are familiar with my beliefs will be a little surprised. I can only say that I know I am now where I belong. I find strength in the community and in the individual growth I have begun. My daughter is happy there, too. I hope to give her the solid base for spiritual exploration I was given by my parents. I am growing in my parenting skills. The peanut is showing signs of being effected by the drama of the last year. I am working with the staff at her pre-school and the church to help her be comforted and happy. I am trying to help her express her feelings and understand that she can rely on mommy to help her and love her no matter what comes. There is great reward in being a mommy. I relish it in a way I never thought possible. I have re-entered the dating arena in a small way. I am looking for companionship and conversation via my computer. Now, before you start to worry, I am being the most cautious girl you could imagine and have no intention of becoming a statistic. I have reconnected with an old flame from high school and am enjoying a hot flirtation with him. I am not ready to challeng the rest of the boys with my charm and wit right now. He is familiar and fun and oh so creative with this medium. More on that another time. I would encourage anyone out there to e-mail me and kick my ass about the discipline I need to show with my blog. Who knows, I might actually do it this time. They say third time’s a charm……
